Why this blog?

Around 25 years ago, I convinced my grandmother to write a memoir. Naturally, it was in pen on (gasp) paper. That, of course, would never do. I was blinded by new technology. I was an idiot. I convinced (read "paid") my daughter, Miriam, to type Bubbie's manuscript up on my Commodore 64. Then, to make matters worse, I edited the typescript. Then I printed it out and had it copied and bound.

Now, the actual original manuscript, what Bubbie actually wrote with her own hand, is lost forever. It's probably somewhere in the house, but that pretty much counts as lost forever.

Now, I'm at that age. My kids have not asked me to do this, but I'm doing it anyway. I'm still amused enough by technology that I don't want to do a handwritten manuscript. I also don't think I can achieve the kind of dramatic impact that Bubbie managed with a formal autobiography. So, instead, I'm doing a blog with random memories from the past and the present scattered in a disorganized way.

This blog is linked to my two other blogs.

http://henryandcarolynsecondhoneymoon.blogspot.com/ is the blog I started when I came down with cancer and pretty much stopped when Carolyn died.

http://henryfarkaswidowerblog.blogspot.com/ is the blog I started after Carolyn died; when I decided to continue blogging.

For what it's worth, there's a search engine attached to this blog right below this intro. That won't be worth much initially, but if this blog gets long and stays disorganized, then my kids and their kids will be able to use the search engine to find stuff if they're interested.

Search This Blog

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Letter I Wrote to a Woman on JDate

Hi XXXXXX,

It's nice to have an actual name to write to. Thanks for that.

I'm relatively new to JDate, about a month, so when I tell you what I look for in a profile, that doesn't constitute advice from a veteran of the wars between the sexes. It's just my amateur attempt to find the right person.

So, I have to admit, shallow as that seems, I look at the photo. I've yet to respond to any letter or profile that doesn't have a picture. Your photo, by the way, is stunningly beautiful.

I have met a few women who, in person, look considerably older in person than in the photo. I try to convince women to have a video chat with my via Skype or Gmail. Only one, so far, has accepted that offer.

I, personally, have a certain amount of baggage that will probably make it difficult for me to find a mate on this, or any other site. I spend half my year at my primary residence in Maryland and the other half in Los Angeles. That's going to be a hard sell with any woman.

Anyway, on to the comment about what I look for in a profile and what I've tried to do with my profile. First off, I put in several photos so that anyone looking at it gets a really good idea of what I look like, in sharp focus. I don't want anyone to be surprised about what I look like when she meets me in person or when she sees me on Skype.

I asked my daughters to help me write the profile to make sure it's essentially correct, and I put in a bit of humor. The essay questions are very important. When I look at a profile, I want to know if the woman is a non-smoker, but other than that, I ignore all the check off items. In the check off questions. There are a bunch of women who are adventurous and who like to lift weights, but that doesn't impress me, or even convince me of anything. I want to see that the woman is articulate, funny, and sure of herself. And what I want most is to get the impression that if I don't measure up to her standards, then she'll dump me right away. There's no point in my becoming a starter date that a woman checks out just for practice. It's the essays where this sort of information can be communicated. So don't waste the opportunity of fill out every essay question. I tweak the essays in my profile every so often to keep them fresh.

You might think, "Who does this guy think he is, giving me advice?" Actually, I just like to write essays as a form of self-expression, and you just happened to end up on the receiving end of one of them.

Henry
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